Therapy: Divorce

So, as I sit in the house, the one we picked out together, the one I've seen my little girl grow in and I have come to understand that there is nothing left. Don't get me wrong, there is still love in this place, it just isn't...enough. For how many years have we sat in this house, you dwelling upstairs, me downstairs, and said we were happily married, just different. No. I am glad you stepped up and said you didn't feel the same anymore, because I would've sat in this state of loneliness for a lifetime.  I am now free to do what ever, when ever, with no questions asked. But ultimately, when you come to the choice that you want to be married, you don't plan on the day of divorce. So its like the genie, phenomenal cosmic powers, itty bitty living space. The space of course is in your head, a block that must be moved, and only time will do that.

So, I must deal. I must move forward, not with some, I'm better than you now that we're divorced mentality, just forward. The loss of forever is painful, but the hope for tomorrow is a salve.

Our Role Models

I'm piss poor at this blogging thing. I never get on here in a timely manner, so excuse that, but this Chris Brown/Rihanna thing had me thinking....

So, beating your wife, girl, teenage daughter, all no nos in this society, i understand. But here comes the group of his "peers" speaking out. And here is my problem.

1st this guy: Jay Z When the hell, excuse me, did we start listen for MORAL advice from drug dealers. See, I do understand that in the world of Hip Hop some people exaggerate the truth, we'll say, to create an image. See this guy. And Hey! I'm all for posturing, falsifying and hyperbole, but damn, pardon me! I have never heard any rebuttals from the "streets" about his past, which leaves me to believe him more than most. So, now we are to say, hey jay z is a the moral center of our urban music universe, we should heed his advice. I think I'd rather listen to this guy. At least for an unabashedly reformed drug dealer he said that its not good, but Chris isn't the villain. Or something like that, because the media had him retract every word.

Now, this was going to be it, until I went to one of the seedy gossip sites I am addicted to, mediatakeout, and see this crazy thing talking. Whitney Houston, who's advice is not bad, still is not really one I'd listen to. Yes, yes, crack is wack, but isn't this one a, uh, "wack"head. Or a least a pharmaceutical abuser. Lawd! Is this all we have to speak out on this situation? Sad day.

Next thing you know Tyler Perry as Medea is going to speak out, "Ya shoulda been packin ya heat!

New Year's Resolutions

Ok. So with the coming of a new year, it is obligatory that we create expectations for ourselves, that historically we do not keep. So, in keeping with the trend, here are my true resolutions.

1) I will learn how to do little girl hair - I refuse to be one of those father's with their child looking like Raggedy Ann, or worse yet, any of the girls that people shake their heads at, all because I cannot do hair. It amazes me how intricate even the simplest styles can be. The pony-tail/ poof takes a certain amount of hand/eye coordination to put that dang band of rubber on and loop in three times...ERGH! Frustration sets in at the mere idea! And then after I wrestle an almost 2 year old, wrangle the hair, make it look presentable, well almost presentable, I put the hat on and voila instant negress. I'm almost tempted to promote boys playing with dolls JUST for this reason.

2) I will cook more at home - In this, dare I say it, recession... I have behaved like a CEO during the "Bush Years". Eating out everyday from Pure T. Laziness is not only going to make us hefty, but also cost this poor teacher in the south (where I'm convinced they still believe in slavery) a fortune. I have the cookbooks, and pots and pans (thanks mom) now its off to the trenches.

Ok, so I only have two. But that is why they are realistic, not only can i accomplish these without having to change the world, but they are necessary, thus promoting my motivation.

Off to the kitchen I go!

Oh, I may have one more resolution. I need to actually write in this here blog, so keep posted. I think, therefore I will...

Whew!

Ok. 2009 is here. 2008 is long gone. A date of the past. We see the idea that this is a time of new beginnings. Let's see...new President this year, check. Dunno what he can do in the first year or so of his presidency, but 2009 will tell. My birthday is an unimportant one (31) so no pressure there. Back to school, which being a teacher means nothing in the long and short of things. I have never not been in school, in one capacity or another. Hmmm...2009 is looking to be, well, a year. Ups and downs, lefts and rights. Hopefully we will see this through together, and we can all be better people for it.

Ageism or is it?

Ok, so October 15, my grandfather turned somewhere around 79 years old.

You know, with the grands, you find that they have told you they were 30 for so many years that I can't place their real age. Never-the-less, he is a retired school teacher who even went back into the trenches for a moment as a sub maybe in his mid-seventies. He stopped doing that, because not only has the world moved on from when he was a teacher, but also it takes alot to get that get up and go that he once had. I love my grandfather dearly, he was like a father to me when mine was not around (a story for another day) and as most kids think, he was sort of my Superman as a child. Well, more like Batman, a super hero, but still very human. And guide my family, along with my grandmother, he did a magnificant job. But on his birthday, I saw on the news John McCain, and realized he is a few years younger than my grandfather. It got me thinking, could I see him runnng the nation at his age. I mean, I'm not talking about a Logan's Run esque existance, but is it really rational to have some one at the age past retirement, in most fields, run the nation? Of course McCain knows more, has more experience than Obama, he's 40 years older than him, much like my grandfather knows more about the world than I, but can he keep up in my classroom like he once did. Is it really ageism when I look at the Presidents in my voting time (Clinton and Bush 2) who going into office looked one way, and now... Bush 2 Clinton Which is really to say this job is difficult, and wears out the younger, imagine what it'll do the already advanced. And lets not forget who the running mate is: Mrs. and Mr. Pitbull in Lipstick .

Let's just hope when I'm 79 my grandkids don't put me out to pasture.....

Ok, the 1st "official" post

i have to decided, in this political climate, to start refering to pro-lifers as "anti-choice".

Has anyone else noticed that people refer to pro-choice, now, as pro-abortion? I mean honestly, how many people are really pro-abortion? Like people are running around, getting prenant, so they can skip to the clinic for an abortion. (Lollypop with every third embryo removed!!!) Its just another way of manipulating the language to suit needs, which suits my needs quite well, i do it on the regular, but jeez people, we have to do better. My wife is pro-life, oops sorry, anti-choice, so she too will have to be regulated to these people who are against choices.


Sorry dear...

1st things 1st

Well, we'll see how long this lasts....

i like most people give into whims. This will be one of them.

When trying to articulate my life in an expository form i found it nearly impossible to seperate myself from the masses who have been doing this for years (blogging i mean), thus and so you have been indocrenated into the life of a comlete nobody. Now don't get me wrong, i think if one were to ask the people in my life about me, you'd have a story. Now whether it is a good story, or rather boring diatribe about moon, stars, and green clovers is something all together. i guess, maybe, this will allow others to see, who i think i am. As for specifics, you'll get those, i suppose, as i continue through my blog.

Well, tell me what you think, and if you email, i will return the favor, even the hate mail.